A Good Lease Man

“Must be a man of vision and ambition.  A before and after dinner speaker and drinker.  A night owl, work all day and half the night, then drive 200 miles and appear fresh the next day.  You must be able to entertain bankers, farmers, cattle men, company landmen, and pet widows without becoming too amorous.  Inhale dust, drive through snow 10 feet deep at ten below, and work all summer without perspiring or acquiring BO.  Must be a man’s man, a lady’s man, a model husband, a fatherly father, a good provider, a Plutocrat, a politician, mathematician, mechanic, carpenter, baby sitter and a notary public.  Must be a buying genius, able to anticipate other company plays, a land scout and general information bureau.  Must visit clients in hospitals, jails, honky-tonks and beer joints.  Contact all buyers in the immediate vicinity at all times and be prepared to leave for parts unknown, a distance of 2,000 miles, on five minutes notice.  Must have unlimited endurance, a wide range of telephone numbers in all principal cities, an acquaintance beginning in Maine and ending in California.  Must have a good car, an attractive home and belong to clubs and pay all expenses at home.  Must be an expert driver, talker, dancer, traveler, bridge player, poker player, diplomat, financier, capitalist, philanthropist, geologist, lawyer, abstractor, good and fast with a typewriter, an authority on palmistry, chemistry, psychology, dogs, horses, brunettes, blondes and especially redheads!”

Is it any wonder good lease men are hard to find?

                                                                                               – Author Unknown –